Know your worth in a relationship

When a woman is in love, they would do anything, give anything, sacrifice anything for their significant others. Going extra miles for that special someone would not be questionable. But watch out! You dont want to be taken for granted just because that person knows that you would do anything for them no matter what. I know this because I have been through this. I was in a  long term relationship and honestly, getting out of that relationship was the best thing that happened because now I realize that I am worth it and I do deserve better. I did not realize all the things that I've sacrificed was far from being equal to the way I was being treated. Relationship for me is like business, there should be a return of investment. It doesn't sound right but that is reality.One should not give and give and give without getting what one wants and that is a happy relationship.Yes I know some of you right now must be thinking, Love is a sacrifice, putting someone else’s need before you. But ladies, how much would you actually give in? Do you think its okay for you to put that person’s need before you BUT that person does not do the same for you? And you would be thinking “because I love him and I believe one day he will realize that I deserve better  and  he will treat me right”. WAKE UP!! Believe me that is not going to happen! Or it might happen but by that time it will be too late because you already realize how much you are worth and you already moved on.

 

I was stupid back then. Deep down inside, I always believed that I deserve better and I should just end the relationship but whenever I thought about it, I felt guilty. It was like I was being selfish for wanting to be treated right . I was also afraid to start over. I kept thinking that we've been together for so long and to let go and start all over again was very scary. I was afraid of going through the process of break up , you know the part where you cried, then you feel alone , missing him and heartbroken errrrgghhhh...hate it! But when it actually happened, im not gonna lie and say it was easy, It was tough for me. The person I spend most of my time thinking about, texting, spend my weekends with now turn into a stranger. Grasping the fact that I cant go to him anymore was  unbearable and all those years I've spend with him are now over . But it gotten so much better after that. I started to refocus on myself and rebuilding my relationship with myself. Its when you’re alone that you can have proper conversation with yourself to know what is it that you really want. I have been single for a while now and I am happier then when I was in that relationship. I do hope that one day I will meet someone who is right for me but until then I have no problem being just by myself.

I do believe that there are men out there that knows how to treat a woman right. So why? Why would you still stay and be miserable in a relationship? I have one friend who had trouble getting out of her relationship. Every now and then she’ll call me and complain about how her boyfriend lied to her and how he flirt with other girls. There was even one time when I asked her where is she and to my horror , she answered “ im in my car near by his house, I'm spying on him so I can catch him lying to me”. And when I asked her why would she do this and why wouldn't she just end the relationship because obviously there’s no more trust there. She said she still loves him and she wants prove of his "unloyalty" before ending it. I was in a relationship where there was no trust. I was never at ease! I kept thinking that he’s doing things behind my back, he’s cheating on me with some girls, lying to me. But somehow I just refuse to let it go because I was afraid.It was not a good feeling and every since, I promised myself that i will only date someone I can trust.

One thing that I've learned from this is that, its okay to have a high standard. When a guy is afraid to date you because you have high standard. You damn well know that he does not deserve you! So its okay to have high standard and not settle for less because there will be someone out there who will keep up to your standard. And when I say high standard not in terms of materials.Just because he buys you nice things, take you our to fancy dinner does not mean he’s treating you right. Its the way he makes you feel. That you are worth fighting for , you feel safe, loved,trust and appreciated. So ladies, know your worth. Don't let any scumbag make you feel like you belong in the trash.